Friday, December 21, 2007

Local Train addict

Yes. This is my new addiction. I never thought one could get addicted to this sensory experience, but I did. Mumbai local trains, for the uninitiated, are the pinnacle of public transport. They claim to be, and it is not a modest claim, to be the lifeline of mumbai. Needless to say, the trains are so crowded during peak hours that the metaphor (or is it a similie, i always get confused) packed like sardines seems almost a benign comparison.

Lets get back to the point. What could be possibly good about travelling in the overcrowded local trains for hours, getting crushed in it, and 'man'handled at all wrong places. A one day affair with local trains will not show you the true beauty (if the beauty) of them. The sheer joy of getting a seat in the train is only comparable to getting 10 rs. ticket for sathyam after standing in queue for 3 hours. Then, of course, standing at the door with local train breezing past the city, overtaking other trains, rushing past stations is another level. the next level is seeing stroboscopic images when a train going in opposite direction passes you while you are going parallel to another train with the same speed.

But, the ultimate level, (yes you guessed correctly, it has something to do with girls) is when your train is overtaking some other train, and you are standing on the door, and you spot a beautiful girl in the ladies compartment in the other train and then she spots you, and you make eye contact for a few seconds, before one of the train either slows down or speeds up. That feeling, has never ever been matched by anything in my life. Its better than masturbation. Better than having the best alcohol I've had.

There are some other nice things about local trains. The people who travel in them are so gentlemanly. People who get seats, get up after half the journey so that people who are standing can rest their feet for some time. there is a sort of camaraderie between the people, who travel by the same local train in the same compartment day in and day out. They discuss everything from family problems to indian cricket team's doom, eventhough they only meet in local trains.

I am in love with local trains. God Save Me.

Note : some other nice things about travelling in mumbai. in buses, one can stand at strategic locations as see cleavages.
and i figured out why there are so many mirrors in the elevator. they exist so one can look at girls boobs without getting caught, either by her, or by her boyfriend.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

I am drunk

yes!...finally i am drunk...dont be finicky abt the spellings coz i am drunk... it feels like you feel when u havent slept for a night...actually a bit more...but stilll ...somewhat that kinda feeling. if u dont feel for 2 nights u will prbably feel ecaxtly lke this.

shouvik said that u write wierd thingsw hen u r drunk. i hope when i read this when i am is wierd enuff...i dont want to be disaappointed by myslef....i will publish this now....

but i thik i have not written netyhing wierd...whne my sane self rads this ...he will be disaappointed...but what the hell he shud now the reality....

fuck him!

ochod fucker!

I am drunk

yes!...finally i am drunk...dont be finicky abt the spellings coz i am drunk... it feels like you feel when u havent slept for a night...actually a bit more...but stilll ...somewhat that kinda feeling. if u dont feel for 2 nights u will prbably feel ecaxtly lke this.

shouvik said that u write wierd thingsw hen u r drunk. i hope when i read this when i am is wierd enuff...i dont want to be disaappointed by myslef....i will publish this now....

but i thik i have not written netyhing wierd...whne my sane self rads this ...he will be disaappointed...but what the hell he shud now the reality....

fuck him!

ochod fucker!

Friday, March 09, 2007

crass cacophony

cute is cupid's cacophony
twisted is the turning tide
prose is the poem phoney
web is the world wide

open is the opulent orgy
tweaked is the twinkling time
closed are the kinky clergy
lovely is the lemony lime

talk is the time turner
jabbering is the joker job
book is the brain burner
mocking is the mundane mob

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

pervert pickdown poems...

this is what i and vineeth wrote on orkut scrapbook for various girls, the first line being girl specific. enjoy.

scary, your photo iss..a snake with a hiss..just a sec..ill miss...would u give me a kiss...dont delete thiss!

probably you will block me, you may...but not if i had my no...i am not a gay...well...not in hey...would you make my day...i am willing to pay.

cute cool charming ass..this is a horny mere paas..bujhao meri pyaas...r u in my class?..cacophonous crass..your head is made of brass...or is it grass...or just bakwaas!

guru surf excel hai...i saw you on e-bay...below a gay...have u lost ur way..didnt get ur pay?...laying on hay...with hair(pubic) grey...u r my prey..go and pray..then play..ill eat your **** in a tray..nothing more to say

richa agarwall...did u get my call...i was waiting in the the mall..writing on the wall...noone stands tall..not as tall as hall..ready for a fall? big is ur ball?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Night

It was a tuesday night. Just like any other night before a weekday.
It was a moonless night. Just like any other night, 14 nights before and after a moon-full night.
It was a cloudless night. Just like any other uncloudful night.
It was a starry night. Just like any other moonless, cloudless night.

Ochod, who had recently become bald, was sitting in the computer lab, with his usual plans to study. The computer lab was scarcely populated with usual souls. Everyone was well spaced out. There were no girls in the lab. On any other night, ochod would have opened youtube and search for Jennifer Connelly, Sharon Stone, Monica Belluci, Salma Hayek et al.

But tonight he chose not to. He himself was surprised at his decision. How could he get sick of watching Hot babes baring their non existent souls. How could he not want to watch sensous ladies and fantasize about them. He felt let down by his own self.

Was it because he had watched too much of it lately? then he could be excused. but he knew he hadnt seen it much. he was trying to convince himself that it is okay to not feel like watching porn once in a while, and that he has not lost interest in sex, and hence in life, and hence in the universe, and hence in everything.

and then, in the time interval that takes an actress to undress in a porn movie, an idea struck him. he got a brilliant argument to convince himself. it must be because its 12 already. so it is 14th feb. and 14th feb is all about love...and not sex! so he can be excused. Ha!


It was a Pornless night. Just like no other night.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Being Bald

Barrenness on my head is symbolic, but what does it symbolize is a question which has many answers, all in their right, correct.

On one hand it symbolizes my move towards Buddhism or rather buddhist principles, of which the one which influenced me the most was baldness. Of course, i am strictly following the Buddhist principle of abstinence, not because i want to, but that i have no choice but to follow it.

On the other hand it symbolizes my barren and boring lifestyle, barren due to lack of girls, boring due to lack of entertainment avenues. gulzar's lyrics come to my mind

'Banjar hai sab Banjar hai,

Hum Dhoondhne Jab firdaus chale
teri khosh talaash mein dekh piya
hum kitne kaale kos chale'

another 14th feb comes and will go by, and ill remain a bald (buddhist?) bachelor being bugged by bugs bunny........thats all folks!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Winter Masti in Delhi

this post has been delayed a lot, due to my laziness, finally i have got the impetus to write it... yes this is another night up, but thats besides the point. this december there was national science fest in St. Stephens in Delhi. since they were paying for travel and accomodation...some of us decided to go there and have some fun. initially the plan was for 6 of us to go...but anshul didnt get a bonafide certificate from cmi due to some wierd reason and bhanu had fever. so in the end it was the bong trio (arghya, shouvik, and shiladitya) and i who finally reached there.

clearly short of resources, we didnt have people to take part in all competitions...and we being thoroughly unprepared, decided to give few competitions a miss. one of such competition was Debate which we thought would be of very high level since teams like stephens and fergusson will be well prepared and good debators. so we send a team for programming instead (all of us were physicists). shiladitya and arghya went for programming and shouvik and i decided to go and see the debate. i and arghya had initially registered for it, and when my name was called out...i told them achal is not here! then the debate started and we were appalled by the poor quality of the debate, so we thought arghya could easily take part and get a prize. so i asked the judge that can someone still come. he agreed and i ran from 1 end of the college to the other to call arghya who was in the middle of a programming contest. he left that midway and ran to the place of debate. he was the last speaker and he came in and asked for half a minute to rest.

the debate topic was 'Indian space research program - a step forward in future or a leap back in time'. so arghya, after resting for half a minute, comes and tells a story about titanium disk and brazilian aeronautics. and then runs back to the programming contest.

the contest is won by some asshole whose speech was crap...another guy (my childhood friend) was much better...and there was another guy who deserved to be second but didnt get any prize! basically most of them just sprouted facts without any point in there debate.

now the programming contest was in c++ and java. both of them didnt know java...and they still got the third prize in the contest (2 questions were compulsory in java). you can imagine the level!

then there was this absurd theory contest (which was the one i was interested in most). so we sat up in the night and made absurd love is irrational and transcendental...female = male...all my theories are correct....shiladitya is a male bitch....and so on.

next day morning shouvik made up another absurd theory which proved god existed..using some wierd logic which i have forgotten! in the absurd theory competition, the crowd was so fucking stupid and dumb! they were not able to get simple stuff...and still they were acting as if we were dumb asses. i had expected atleast a third prize...if there was any...and there was a third prize...but that was given to 2 whose theory's 2 obvious flaws were pointed out...and another whose theory was just psuedo absurd. reason...they used computer presentation!

then there was paper presentation for which arghya had an orginal paper already published in physical review. he was expected to just sweep the first prize...but he found out that there was no prize for originality...and they told him that his paper was of too high a level for audience...and hence they didnt give him prize..instead prize were given to people who just took some interesting question from some book...understood the solution and presented it (which any dumbass like me could do).

in the end the only prize we got was programming.... eventhough we were all physics students...and noone knew java. also we got to see some hot chicks in DU. oh can i forget..we got to eat lovely rum balls after all the lectures...which we bunked of course (in true cmi spirit). we managed to convey the cmi spirit to them...hopefully they will invite us next year...although i dont think i'll be going again...but ah...who knows!! the lovely weather and hot chicks might just lure me.

Friday, January 12, 2007

night up(s)!

its been 2 months since i last wrote...and sitting in front of the comp at 3'o clock at night (or should i say morning) i am recollecting all my previous night ups...yes...i have decided not to sleep tonight.

night ups...usually start with a very good reason....but as always ...never live up to their promise! most of my night ups has been for a reason which many will laugh off. the reason is...i was very fond of the burger our hostel used to give on sunday morning breakfast. now i being a sleepy fellow never used to wake up on time for breakfast...and so...just to have the burger...just so that i dont miss it...i used to stay awake all night. what did i do the whole night...well i wouldnt be alone...ill usually have some senior for we'll watch some movie...which we must have seen 10 times (especially a movie called heartbreakers(because jeniffer love hewitt is there in that), which we had seen so many times that we actually remembered each and every dialogue). then we'll watch another movie...then listen to some nice music....then talk...and finally by 4:30 to 5 we both would be on sofa sleeping.

and we would do the same thing again the next sunday and the next!! come to think of it...i cant believe i actually did that!

nowadays most of my night ups start off with...ill study something tonight...ill finish this homework...but as soon as i get in front of an empty comp lab...i cant control myself and i start watching porn! after watching enuff porn to the extent of feeling sick after seeing it...i search for some future university websites...and end up dreaming abt getting into cambridge or harvard...and i end the night up thinking....i shudnt sleep too much and study at nights if i wanna get into these time, i will study!!! and the vicious circle continues!

yet another night up is passing by...i have done nothing useful (except write this blog of course!). now i am in the university watching stage...and will soon move on to the dreaming stage.

btw...if u want to loose your a movie called cannibal holocaust. incidentally i watched one scene of that movie today...and i am hoping i can sleep sometime in future!