Wednesday, February 21, 2007

pervert pickdown poems...

this is what i and vineeth wrote on orkut scrapbook for various girls, the first line being girl specific. enjoy.

scary, your photo iss..a snake with a hiss..just a sec..ill miss...would u give me a kiss...dont delete thiss!

probably you will block me, you may...but not if i had my no...i am not a gay...well...not in hey...would you make my day...i am willing to pay.

cute cool charming ass..this is a horny mere paas..bujhao meri pyaas...r u in my class?..cacophonous crass..your head is made of brass...or is it grass...or just bakwaas!

guru surf excel hai...i saw you on e-bay...below a gay...have u lost ur way..didnt get ur pay?...laying on hay...with hair(pubic) grey...u r my prey..go and pray..then play..ill eat your **** in a tray..nothing more to say

richa agarwall...did u get my call...i was waiting in the the mall..writing on the wall...noone stands tall..not as tall as hall..ready for a fall? big is ur ball?

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The Night

It was a tuesday night. Just like any other night before a weekday.
It was a moonless night. Just like any other night, 14 nights before and after a moon-full night.
It was a cloudless night. Just like any other uncloudful night.
It was a starry night. Just like any other moonless, cloudless night.

Ochod, who had recently become bald, was sitting in the computer lab, with his usual plans to study. The computer lab was scarcely populated with usual souls. Everyone was well spaced out. There were no girls in the lab. On any other night, ochod would have opened youtube and search for Jennifer Connelly, Sharon Stone, Monica Belluci, Salma Hayek et al.

But tonight he chose not to. He himself was surprised at his decision. How could he get sick of watching Hot babes baring their non existent souls. How could he not want to watch sensous ladies and fantasize about them. He felt let down by his own self.

Was it because he had watched too much of it lately? then he could be excused. but he knew he hadnt seen it much. he was trying to convince himself that it is okay to not feel like watching porn once in a while, and that he has not lost interest in sex, and hence in life, and hence in the universe, and hence in everything.

and then, in the time interval that takes an actress to undress in a porn movie, an idea struck him. he got a brilliant argument to convince himself. it must be because its 12 already. so it is 14th feb. and 14th feb is all about love...and not sex! so he can be excused. Ha!


It was a Pornless night. Just like no other night.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Being Bald

Barrenness on my head is symbolic, but what does it symbolize is a question which has many answers, all in their right, correct.

On one hand it symbolizes my move towards Buddhism or rather buddhist principles, of which the one which influenced me the most was baldness. Of course, i am strictly following the Buddhist principle of abstinence, not because i want to, but that i have no choice but to follow it.

On the other hand it symbolizes my barren and boring lifestyle, barren due to lack of girls, boring due to lack of entertainment avenues. gulzar's lyrics come to my mind

'Banjar hai sab Banjar hai,

Hum Dhoondhne Jab firdaus chale
teri khosh talaash mein dekh piya
hum kitne kaale kos chale'

another 14th feb comes and will go by, and ill remain a bald (buddhist?) bachelor being bugged by bugs bunny........thats all folks!!

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Winter Masti in Delhi

this post has been delayed a lot, due to my laziness, finally i have got the impetus to write it... yes this is another night up, but thats besides the point. this december there was national science fest in St. Stephens in Delhi. since they were paying for travel and accomodation...some of us decided to go there and have some fun. initially the plan was for 6 of us to go...but anshul didnt get a bonafide certificate from cmi due to some wierd reason and bhanu had fever. so in the end it was the bong trio (arghya, shouvik, and shiladitya) and i who finally reached there.

clearly short of resources, we didnt have people to take part in all competitions...and we being thoroughly unprepared, decided to give few competitions a miss. one of such competition was Debate which we thought would be of very high level since teams like stephens and fergusson will be well prepared and good debators. so we send a team for programming instead (all of us were physicists). shiladitya and arghya went for programming and shouvik and i decided to go and see the debate. i and arghya had initially registered for it, and when my name was called out...i told them achal is not here! then the debate started and we were appalled by the poor quality of the debate, so we thought arghya could easily take part and get a prize. so i asked the judge that can someone still come. he agreed and i ran from 1 end of the college to the other to call arghya who was in the middle of a programming contest. he left that midway and ran to the place of debate. he was the last speaker and he came in and asked for half a minute to rest.

the debate topic was 'Indian space research program - a step forward in future or a leap back in time'. so arghya, after resting for half a minute, comes and tells a story about titanium disk and brazilian aeronautics. and then runs back to the programming contest.

the contest is won by some asshole whose speech was crap...another guy (my childhood friend) was much better...and there was another guy who deserved to be second but didnt get any prize! basically most of them just sprouted facts without any point in there debate.

now the programming contest was in c++ and java. both of them didnt know java...and they still got the third prize in the contest (2 questions were compulsory in java). you can imagine the level!

then there was this absurd theory contest (which was the one i was interested in most). so we sat up in the night and made absurd love is irrational and transcendental...female = male...all my theories are correct....shiladitya is a male bitch....and so on.

next day morning shouvik made up another absurd theory which proved god existed..using some wierd logic which i have forgotten! in the absurd theory competition, the crowd was so fucking stupid and dumb! they were not able to get simple stuff...and still they were acting as if we were dumb asses. i had expected atleast a third prize...if there was any...and there was a third prize...but that was given to 2 whose theory's 2 obvious flaws were pointed out...and another whose theory was just psuedo absurd. reason...they used computer presentation!

then there was paper presentation for which arghya had an orginal paper already published in physical review. he was expected to just sweep the first prize...but he found out that there was no prize for originality...and they told him that his paper was of too high a level for audience...and hence they didnt give him prize..instead prize were given to people who just took some interesting question from some book...understood the solution and presented it (which any dumbass like me could do).

in the end the only prize we got was programming.... eventhough we were all physics students...and noone knew java. also we got to see some hot chicks in DU. oh can i forget..we got to eat lovely rum balls after all the lectures...which we bunked of course (in true cmi spirit). we managed to convey the cmi spirit to them...hopefully they will invite us next year...although i dont think i'll be going again...but ah...who knows!! the lovely weather and hot chicks might just lure me.